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Vasectomy, the quality of life killer
3/14/2010,
itgotweird
ABSTRACT:
My life was wonderful, and I didn't want anything to change. I had reached a point in my life where I thought everything was perfect, and I felt getting a vasectomy would only help to keep things the way they were. The doctor told me the procedure was simple, painless, effective, and with only a small chance of minor side effects. He was dead wrong on all accounts.
SYMPTOMS:
Rough surgery provided acute epididymal pain and inflammation on the left side. 4 Days after vasectomy pressure and achy testicles persisted for 5 weeks, followed by sharp epididymal and abdomen pain and pressure into the foreseeable future.
TREATMENTS/MEDICATIONS:
Ibuprofen and antibiotics
OUTCOME/CURRENT CONDITION:
It has been 6 weeks since reversal and I am still unable to exercise, and walking is even difficult. Still get aches and some abdominal nerve pain.
I generally consider myself a private person. Owing to
the delicate nature of this topic, posting such personally sensitive
information is very difficult for me. Speaking collectively men prefer not to
discuss the details of their anatomy when it involves any kind of affliction
that would portray them as anything less than manly. But given the
circumstances, I feel it is my duty to expose this issue to the public, and if
it saves even one person from a similar fate, it will have been well worth any
embarrassments on my part.
I am not a huge fan of medicine in this country, an
explanation of which is beyond the scope of this message. Suffice it to say, I
believe that pharmaceutical corporations influence our countries doctors
starting at education and continuing through frequent sales visits. It is this
heavy influence that has transformed us into a medicated generation, where in
its stead, prevention should prevail. It should come as no surprise that I only
keep catastrophic insurance with a high deductible, as I do not feel the need
to see a doctor unless I am in a major accident. In November of 2009 I had
reconstructive surgery to fix a deviated septum, a problem I have had since
getting elbowed in the nose during a high school wrestling practice. I had no
choice but to take a few weeks of rest from training or any kind of exercise to
recover.
Now, for the first time in a long while my family actually
reached our deductible. Consequently, a few months back my wife was seeing her
OBG/YN, and was told that she was at high risk if she got pregnant again
because of her experience giving birth to our twin boys. Her doctor advised her
that I should have a vasectomy, just in case. My wife mentioned this, and
suggested that I follow her advice soon since we had met our insurance deductible
and I was not able to ride anyway. I was totally opposed to the idea, and made
no bones about my opposition on multiple occasions. I reluctantly spoke to the
Urologist about any possible complications or side effects, and I was only told
that it was a “minor procedure” and there may be some swelling, or bleeding,
but nothing to worry about. I asked about time off the bike and was assured 10
days would be the maximum. I was very busy at work with a major software
release, and did not have the time to research it on my own. That is where I
made my first big mistake, I trusted the doctor.
THE EVENT
A perfect storm of finances, timing, misplaced trust, and
personal ignorance, caused me to do something that I will forever regret. On
December 4, 2009 I made the single worst decision of my life, I got a
vasectomy. I was told that the procedure itself would be fairly painless,
a pin prick and some tugging. After waiting naked for 1 hour and 20 in what
felt like a meat locker, the urologist made his entrance. He started with the
right side, and the experience was exactly as described. He then told me that
the left side would be even easier because I was already partially numb. He was
dead wrong. After fumbling about a bit, he said “I am having a difficult time
getting a hold of the vas”. I suddenly felt vice grips get a hold of me and
refuse to loosen. The pain was so excruciating, I gasped a few times and was
starting to feel light headed and I told the doctor I might throw up or pass
out. He made some joke that I don’t remember, maybe he thought I was squeamish,
but it was purely the pain. For the next 10 minutes I felt a little like
William Wallace as my innards were being torn apart. Now I have had
my share of pain, chipped rotator cuff, snapped the transverse process on 3
vertebrae, split my arm open to the bone, etc. And I would gladly experience
any one of those catastrophes again before going through that surgery.
The first few days after went by as expected, and I started
to feel like I was starting to recover at about day four. Then, the pain
started to change and worsen. I could not sleep as there was no position
that was comfortable. I had left over pain pills from my nasal surgery, but
they didn’t help all that much and I prefer not to take drugs whenever
possible. If I did finally dose off, I would soon be woken up from shooting
nerve pain that emanated from my testicles ending all the way up to my hips and
back.
THE TIMELINE
2 Weeks – At this point I was starting to seriously worry,
so I went back to see the urologist. The doctor was busy, I guess, because I
was only seen by the physician’s assistant. I am not that familiar with recent
changes in our medical system, but I logically figured any post operative
complications would at least be addressed by the doctor that performed the
surgery. It all seemed very cold and dispassionate to me, even a little
weird being inspected by a man that was not an actual doctor. But at that
point, I would have allowed George Michael to handle my genitals if I thought
he could provide some answers. Of course he only found some inflammation on the
left side (I can't imagine why), and told me that I was just a slow healer.
3 Weeks – No change in my condition. Constant pain, no
cycling, no sex, no playing with the kids, it was the worst Christmas ever.
I walked out to the living room like a cowboy on thin ice, and eased
myself onto the couch. I pretended to smile and be happy for the family, but
quickly retired to the bedroom, where I spent the better part of the day
stuffing ice into my jock with the facial expressions of a junkie shooting up.
4 Weeks - I would still wake up every morning feeling like I
had had the surgery the day before. I called the doctor (got the PA again), and
he reassured me that I had just gone through a “Major Surgery” and was just a
slow healer. Whatever happened to “Minor Procedure?” He then suggested some
kind of nerve related drug treatment. I quickly looked up side effects, and
declined. In addition to the myriad of side effects many of these drugs cause,
most only serve to cover up symptoms or mask pain. I prefer to know how (or if)
I am improving.
5 Weeks – Still no change, and the psychological effects
were starting to get to me. I started to feel that there was a good chance I
would never want to have sex again, never be able to ride my bike again, in
addition to being severely limited in activities I could do with the kids. I
would go to sleep every night around 7pm anxious to wake up feeling better, but
it would never happen. Each morning I woke up to the same pain level, and could
see no change in site.
In addition to my personal life, the effects were really
starting to wedge themselves into the lives of my family. My darling wife has
been absolutely tormented by the entire situation. Knowing full well that I had
the surgery at her request, feelings of guilt in addition to having to pick up
the slack at home has been difficult for her to say the least. I am very
involved with my kids, making breakfast, taking them on activities, etc. My
children are smart and very cognizant of the uneasy atmosphere that is
permeating our home. Continually fielding questions like “Why can’t daddy
wrestle with us anymore”, “Why doesn’t daddy make breakfast for us anymore”,
“Why can’t daddy take us sledding”, “Why does daddy go to bed after dinner”, or
“why is mom crying all the time?” has been difficult on us both. At this
point I started to feign happiness to the boys, and pretend to be comfortable
regardless of my pain levels.
6 Weeks – I started to feel like things were getting better,
but this only lasted a couple of days. I was sitting at my desk in my big comfy
chair working through what I thought was a comfortable pain level of 3, when
out of the blue the pain spiked up to a nine and stayed there. It was so bad my
hands were shaking and I couldn’t even work at my computer. It was a Friday
near the end of the day, so I called the Urologist’s office, gave a brief
timeline of my pain and indicated that my current pain level was unbearable.
I needed to see the doctor right away. Now I am not one for pity, but I
thought I would at least get the standard “that sounds terrible” or “I am so
sorry what can we do”, at the very least a concerned voice. Much to the
contrary, the nurse was a total robot, and sounded almost as if she had heard
this a million times and was trained to somehow not acknowledge it. She dryly
indicated that the doctor was busy, but that they could fit me in on Tuesday
afternoon. I asked what I was supposed to do for four days, and in the
same apathetic voice, was told to take Tylenol. I was so dumfounded at the
whole experience, all I could mutter through a timid and tearful voice was
“OK”. After lying in bed all weekend, the pain finally subsided back to the
standard 5 or 6 that I felt all the time. Tuesday morning I called and
cancelled the appointment. And while I believe the doctor never set out to do
anything malicious, I did not feel comfortable seeking help from the person
that caused the damage to begin with. Not to mention I was scared to death to
return to that office. Eventually he called me to find out why I cancelled my
appointment, and I related my status. He was apologetic, and tried to remedy
the situation by offering some exploratory surgery to remove parts of my male
anatomy. Knowing full well that this would only lessen or even eliminate
my chances to ever truly heal, I politely declined.
7 Weeks - I thought I might be starting to feel a bit
better. The constant dull ache had pretty much disappeared, and I only
experienced pain during activity. In other words, I thought I could at least
start a long, dull, and uninteresting life of sedentary obesity. I was wrong.
More level 9 pain spikes throughout the week. Since I could do little more than
sit at my desk and work, I spent more time reading medical journals,
researching the procedure, side effects, and experiences of other men. A
plethora of horror stories abound on the internet, and I probably would not
have put much stock in any of them, except I myself was living the same
unimaginable nightmare. The first thing I discovered was that PVPS is
much more common than any Urologist will ever admit. Most never even present it
as a possibility to their prospective patients and many even deny its
existence. If you are a sufferer, expect to be swept under the rug by
medical practitioners as they are mostly clueless about it. Vasectomy is big
business, and for most urologists, it is their bread and butter. It only makes
sense that they would not bring it up or put it on any consent forms, it might
scare away customers, and that is bad for business. Most PVPS victims don’t have symptoms for years after the
surgery. Recover seems to depend on how well your body “adapts” to the change (I refuse to use
the word heal, nobody heals from vasectomy).
8 Weeks – Only after thorough research, accompanied by
strong fears of future complication, I decided to see a vasectomy reversal
specialist. I felt a strong need to do all that I could to have things put back
the way they were. And since each day felt no better than the last, I really
did not feel like I was ever going to get better, and I did not want to suffer
any longer. Insurance will not pay for reversal because it is usually deemed a
matter of fertility, so I knew after paying for plane flights, rental car and
surgery; I would have to come up with around $10,000 all out of my own pocket.
I was reluctant to spend the money, since reversal surgery itself caries no
guarantee of pain alleviation, but my wife reassured me: “If you are suicidal,
you might as well try reversal”. Hard to argue with, but still, I couldn’t help
but think of all the bike gear I could have purchased with the money. I would
have much rather have bought a brand new Cannondale Carbon Scalpel Mountain
Bike, but who would ride it?
THE NEXT STEP
So I packed my bags (actually my wife packed for me), and
exactly two months after the initial procedure, we flew down to Tucson while my
Japanese mother-in-law watched the kids. There I met with a world renowned
vasectomy reversal expert. He indicated to me that most of his patients are
there for fertility reasons but that he does receive a few “pain” patients each
month. The staff was so incredibly kind and professional; it made the office
back in Utah look totally Mickey Mouse. I woke up in the post-op room with an
immediate feeling of relief. For the first time in weeks, it didn’t feel like a
woman wearing high heels was standing on my lower abdomen. And though I must
attribute much of my initial comfort to the anesthetic, there was a definite
feeling of pressure relief. As part of the surgery, the doctor must cut the
cauterized ends of the vas deferens and take a sperm sample. After the surgery
the doctor indicated to me that the left side had an amazing amount of scar
tissue for only 2 months, and when he clipped the end off, fluid gushed for a
long time as if under great pressure. He told me that he only ever sees this
with his pain patients.
It has now been 6 weeks since I left Tucson, and I am
getting better each day. The recovery has not been linear, and has provided its
own share of painful days. I write this now, because I feel better today than
at any other day since my vasectomy. What took one doctor 15 minutes to destroy,
took a skilled surgeon 6 hours to put back together. And while reversal is
considered a much more invasive surgery with a longer recovery, I feel much
better now after 6 weeks then I felt even 8 weeks after a vasectomy. But I still have a lot of healing to do.
THE RECOVERY?
It is my belief that the single biggest reason few ever hear
about this problem is that most men suffer in silence, being abashed or perhaps
not wanting to be labeled; even informing the doctor of the situation is not common
(which also leads urologists to believe that their procedure is safe and
effective). I believe that advances in information proliferation through the
internet, is the primary reason the issue has found any light at all in recent
years. Studies have been documented in medical journals for over 40 years, but
until recently have not been so readily available. In a study done way back in
1970 a large group of vasectomized men were asked if they were satisfied with
the operation. The result was 92%. Oddly, when the same group was asked if they
suffered a decrease in sexual desire 53% responded yes. The researcher
commented: "The need to convince ourselves is served by convincing
others”.
On December 4, 2009 I walked into that doctor’s office in
the best shape of my life with a 10+ on the “Quality of Life” scale, and have
been living a 2 since. Being able to ride a bike again is still not a
guarantee, and if the doctor had given any warning at all that such an outcome
was even a remote possibility, I would not have gone through with it. Long term
(possibly lifelong) chronic pain was not in the informed consent, and any
Urologist that is not upfront about it is acting unethically and is more
interested in making money then actually helping patients. In the end I have to
blame myself for not doing the research first and not seeing vasectomy for what it is: The
totally illogical assumption that clamping off a pipe and not shutting off the
pump, will indefinitely have no ill effects.
So have I sufficiently embarrassed myself yet, or do I need
to post a photo of me only wearing the extra supportive bikini briefs I have
had to fashion for the past 3 months?
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